This is part four of my Sword Art Online fanfiction, which is an accurate summary of events. Start with Part 1 here.

“Greetings, young man. I was once in charge of Sword Art Online’s network security. This game had some minor launch issues, so I’m probably out of a job now. I just want to live the rest of my life in peace. So, would you like to try… FISHING?!!”

“I’m not sure,” Kirito answered truthfully. He was a bit creeped out by the old man’s false teeth. Something was wrong about this whole situation. He hadn’t seen anyone who was over the age of sixteen in two years, after all. And here was this old geezer.

“Well, then, do you have some soy sauce? I fish all day, but I haven’t been able to cook anything since I don’t have soy sauce! How can you possibly cook food without soy sauce?!”

“I don’t have any, but my wife probably does. Let’s stop by my house. She’s maxed out her cooking skill.”

“Oh, you lucky young man. I had a wife once, before some man penetrated my security system. That seems to always happen…”

Back at the house, Asuna invited the fisherman to sit down on the sofa for some tea and biscuits.

“Fishing?!” asked Asuna, excited. “You want Kirito to cast his rod and release his seed— I mean bait— into the lake?!”

“Yep. We’re going to catch an enormous fish. A crowd will show up and it will be a festival!”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to pass,” said Kirito. “I’m not good with crowds.”

“Okay, I understand. But if you change your mind, stop by tomorrow morning!”

Later that evening, Asuna clung to Kirito in bed. “Kirito, I think you should go…” said Asuna sleepily. She had just had a satisfying climax to her day. “I want to see you cast your rod…”

“Fine, woman, I’ll go! Just let me sleep already!”

The next morning, a crowd had gathered by the shore, just as the old man had promised.

“Goooo!!!!” The old man hurled his glowing rod and cast the line into the lake.

“My… my goodness! His rod… it’s enormous! How big is this thing?” asked Asuna in shock. Even Kirito was impressed.

“Now, Kirito! It’s biting!” shouted the old man. “Grab my rod and pull!”

“What?! You’re a sick old man, you know that?!”

“Just do it, Kirito!” shouted Asuna, excitement glinting in her eyes.

“Ok, fine.” Kirito grabbed the old man’s rod and was nearly knocked off his feet. Power and strength surged through the old man’s glowing rod. It was stretched stiff with the strength of the fish pulling on the other end.

“Pull, Kirito, pull!” Asuna cheered him on. “Look! I see it! The fish took Kirito’s bait! It has good taste.”

“Asuna!” Kirito cried and hung to her. “Let me rub my hands around your waist to get this old man stench off of me!”

“Oh, Kirito!” Asuna squealed. “You’re so silly! But touch me wherever you want.”

“Also, I think the fish wants more of what it got off the tip of my rod. It’s coming this way.”

“Don’t worry, Kirito! I’ll handle this!” declared Asuna, tossing off her hood and cloak to reveal the fashionable yellow sweater underneath.

“Listen up, fish! I let you try some this once, but I’m the only one who gets to eat off the tip of Kirito’s rod! Don’t get cocky now!”

Asuna speared the fish straight through its mouth. Then she prepared it with some soy sauce and her maxed out cooking skill. It was a feast that became a legend in the world of Sword Art Online for years to come.

After the feast, it was time to head back to the front lines. Heathcliff had summoned them.

At the warp portal, Kirito and Asuna said their goodbyes to the old man.

“Asuna, your soy sauce is the best. Kirito, I’ll remember the feeling of your hand on my rod for the rest of my life. That was some of the best fishing I’ve ever seen.”

“Please don’t remember it.”

“Old man, I understand your feelings,” interjected Asuna, wiping away the tears from her eyes. “To me, Kirito-kun is the meaning of my two years here…”

That afternoon, at the guild headquarters, Kirito and Asuna began to argue. “Asuna, you can’t go to this fight! It’s too dangerous! You should stay in the kitchen where you belong!”

“No, Kirito. I have to go. If you went and didn’t come back, I would kill myself! I’d have no reason to live anymore. That’s why I need to go fight this battle with you. Plus, I want to see your swordplay and how much you’ve improved.”

“Fine, Asuna. Then let’s both stay back from the front lines. We can just live in the house in the forest!”

“No, Kirito. I want to stay with you forever… to experience everything together as your wife, in both this world and the next. I want to practice swordplay with you in the real world, to cast your fishing rod… together with our daughter, Yui… We need to do this for Yui’s sake!”

“I understand, Asuna. I will protect you.”

Later that afternoon, the front liners lined up before the boss’ door. “You guys ready for this?” asked Kirito.

“I’m always ready for you, Kirito. I’m still waiting for you to join my party,” answered Kirito’s friend, Ryoutarou. “With your blades. Your dual blades.”

My dual blades are still the longest, thought Kirito to himself as he admired the others’ blades out of the corner of his eye. No wonder Asuna chose me.

Slowly, the door to the floor boss creaked open. Everyone rushed in all at once.

When their eyes adjusted to the darkness and they could make out the boss, their jaws dropped open in shock.

“Kirito, look… it looks just like you. It has DUAL BLADES too!” Asuna exclaimed.

“This… this can’t be happening,” Kirito gasped. “It’s swords are bigger than mine. I must defeat it!” Kirito rushed forward towards the boss, which swung its massive sword at Kirito like a human swatting at a fly.

Kirito blocked with his dual blades, but its strength was overwhelming. The monster’s sword approached Kirito’s head.

Suddenly, the enemy was being pushed back. It was Asuna. She had saved him. That foolish woman who should have been safely in the kitchen cooking him dinner right now.

“If we block together, we can do this… with TRI-BLADES!”

Continued in Part 5 by Mr. Flawfinder and in Part 6 — The End of the World and Imouto’s Unquenchable Thirst by myself.