Sword Art Online 17 — The Sinking of the Titania (NSFW)

This is part 8 of my SAO fanfiction. You can start with Part 1 here.

Kirito had just saved the Elf Girl who was Definitely not Imouto.

So she should have cried and run into Kirito’s arms. That’s what Kirito expected. But she wanted to jump straight to the swordplay.

“Kids these days,” Kirito mused. “Women now adays are so loose. They’ll just sleep around with anyone. But I’m a married man. I can’t go sleeping with just anyone. If you were in my family, like Yui, it would be a different story. But I’m sorry, I can’t return your feelings. I’m an upstanding honorable gentleman, and a husband and a father.”

“That’s too bad,” the girl said, sheathing her sword. “If only I were your Imouto,” said the Elf Girl who was Definitely not Imouto. “The truth is, I have an older brother named Kirito who looks exactly like you. I’m ready to sleep with him any time, but he is hung up on this girl he met in a video game. He’s in therapy right now, so I’ll hope he’ll get over it…”

“What a terrible brother. He should treasure his family more.”

“Yes. Well, if you won’t do swordplay I guess I can still cry and give you a hug.”

“No!” screamed the pixie Yui, leaping out of Kirito’s pocket. “The only ones who can hug Daddy are Mommy and me!”

“Yui, don’t be so selfish,” scolded Kirito. “This is just some skinship.”

“If daddy says so… but daddy is mine, and you better remember it!” Yui warned.

“Oh, so, Elf Girl who is Definitely not Imouto, can I ask you for some advice? My sword skills are so badass I just wiped out three people at once, but I don’t know how to fly, which is the core mechanic of this game. Could you show me how?”

“Sure, I’d be happy too. I don’t think it’s strange at all that you’re such a high level despite the fact that you’ve never flown before in a game about fairies that fly. Turn around and show me your backside.”

Kirito turned around. Wings sprouted from his back. The Elf Girl who is Definitely not Imouto gingerly touched Kirito’s wings. A mixture of pain and pleasure filled his body. It was the most intense feeling he had every experienced.

Suddenly, the Elf Girl who is Definitely not Imouto thrust with all her strength into the buds of Kirito’s wings. He screamed. He was flying.

“So, Kirito-kun, do you want to get something to drink and hang out at my place?”

“Sure, I need to ask you how to beat the game. Let’s go!”

Kirito started flying. Already, after two minutes of practice and without learning how to land, Kirito was the only person in the entire game who could handle the high speeds of the Elf Girl who was Definitely not Imouto. Perhaps if they constructed a tower with their bodies and beat their wings together they would be able to reach Asuna’s cage.

After Kirito reached the town, no one tried to kill him. Kirito was disappointed. He had wanted to cut some fairy wings. He and the Elf Girl who was Definitely not Imouto chatted for a while, and agreed to meet tomorrow to beat the game.

The Elf Girl who was Definitely not Imouto logged out. She was Imouto. Imouto was confused about her feelings. She was in love with her brother Kirito. But she was also in love with the Kirito from ALfheim Online who looked exactly like her brother Kirito. She didn’t know who she truly loved anymore, and fell into despair as she slept, holding her stuffed animal and imagining it was Kirito. She wasn’t sure which one.

Back in ALfheim Online, Kirito laid down in bed. Yui joined him. Kirito thought about logging out, but decided against it. He would just spend the night in the game until 3 PM to give Yui company in bed.

Far away, the Queen Titania sat and talked with the Fairy King Oberon. The Fairy King Oberon was such a manly man, much more so than Kirito. He was the king of the fairies! He didn’t understand why Asuna still liked that nobody Kirito more than him.

“I’ll tell you why,” said Asuna. “Wings? Don’t make me laugh. I’m only interested in swords. And Kirito has the biggest sword of anyone.”

“Woman, know your place! Let’s see if you feel the same once you drink my pixie juice!”

“I’ll never drink your pixie juice! When I get out of this cage, I’m going to have Kirito chop you up with his sword, since it would cut right through yours.”

“I’m just kidding, you silly woman. I told you I’d never do anything to you against your will. Except lock you in a cage and possibly modify some of your cognitive functions. But I’ll forgive you. But you’d better be more submissive the next time we meet.”

The Fairy King Oberon left. He said he wouldn’t, but Asuna knew that soon he would sink the Fairy Queen Titania in his pixie juice. He was that kind of man.

As he left, Asuna prayed. “Save me, Kirito-kun…”

Continued in Part 9 — Towards the Tower.

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