This is part 25 of my SAO summary / fanfiction. You can start with Part 1 here.

It was time for the Bullet of Bullets final round. It would all be decided by a 30-way battle royale with random initial placements. Surely the fairest way to determine players’ individual skills.

Kirito and Sinon went to register for the final round together.

“Hey Sinon… I’ve been wondering… Has anyone ever mentioned to you that your pants don’t fit?”

“Wh-what?!! Where have you been looking, Kirito-kun?!”

Sinon took a peek at Kirito’s sword. It was large and firm, as always.

“If you’re like this now, Kirito-kun… Why didn’t you face me seriously in the tournament yesterday? It’s rude to your opponent to defeat them and then refuse to reach the climax of the battle by firing your bullets into the enemy.”

“I’m sorry, Sinon… It’s just I thought my sword would be too big for you to handle… I was a fool. Please forgive me.”

“Well, it’s ok. But you’d better face me seriously this time.” I think this may cure my fear of guns. If my ass can handle Kirito’s bullets, then I won’t need to fear any man’s gun any longer.

As Kirito and Sinon walked through the bar, creepy old men talked about them.

“Kirito-chan… I heard she rips through her enemies with a photon sword. I’d like to feel her sword inside me, hur-hur.”

“Well I’d love to be shot by Sinocchi. After my bullets tear through those tiny pants.”

“Them’s fighting words! Kirito-chan is the best!”

“No! Sinocchi!”

The bar devolved into chaos as the men chose sides. Slowly fingers strayed to their holsters.

Kirito expertly moved to defuse the tension. “Thanks everyone, but you don’t need to fight over me! Cheer for me! Tee hee~~”

“Well, Sinocchi is still the best, but Kirito-chan ain’t bad either~~”

Sinon grimaced. Was Kirito really a guy? Well, it didn’t matter. Sinon wanted to face off with Kirito’s sword either way.

It was almost time for the tournament to begin.

“I’m going to pay you back for yesterday’s final round.” Sinon made her fingers into the shape of a gun and pointed them at Kirito’s back. “This time, you’d better take this seriously and fire your bullets. Or else I’ll crush your sword and you’ll never use it again.”

“So… If you let someone else shoot you, I won’t forgive you. This time your sword is mine, Kirito-kun.”

The battle began. Sinon expertly shot a few people in the back, then headed towards another battle to snipe the victor. This was true skill.

Suddenly, a man jumped out of the bushes and pinned her to the ground. It was Kirito!

“Nooo… Kirito…!” Sinon struggled, but it was hopeless. Kirito was too strong.

“I wanted… to start with some foreplay… but this is fine, too…”

“Do it, Kirito-kun! Pierce me with your sword! We will settle which is bigger once and for all, your sword or my ass!”

“Be quiet! I want to watch this battle!”

“Huh… but…”

“I’ll face you afterwards. I promise.”

“If we get a chance to start over, will you fight me for real?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. But remember, your sword is mine.”

Sinon sullenly sat up, glaring at Kirito.

“Kirito, how did you get here anyway? I didn’t see you at all on the radar.”

“Hmm, maybe it couldn’t see me because I was underwater.”

“What? How’d you swim with all your gear?”

“Oh, I didn’t. I took it off and put it in my inventory.”

Damn it. I knew I should have hid closer to the riverbank.

The battle ended. “Now, Sinon. Shoot the last man standing. Then I’ll fight you for real.”

Just then, the victor was shot by someone else. It was Death Gun! He prepared to execute his victim.

“Sinon, fire…!”

Continued in Part 26…