Sword Art Online 12 — Yui’s Sword (NSFW)

This is part three in my quality Sword Art Online fanfiction. You should read parts one and two first. Unbound by shame, I tell the true story of Sword Art Online, including the parts that were self-censored for being too risque for television.

“Daddy!!!” cried Yui, as she ran into the orphanage crying and hugged Kirito’s arm. “I dropped my sword down the sewer and can’t reach it!”

While Yui continued crying, an older woman followed into the orphanage. She stopped before Kirito and gave a full bow.

“Please accept my most sincere apologies! My name is Yulier, and it was my fault that the sword was lost… I was practicing swordplay with your daughter, and I never imagined this would happen.”

“Well, don’t worry, don’t worry,” said Asuna. “Let’s go get it.”

“I… don’t think that will be possible. The sword fell into a dungeon with super high level monsters. If you were fighting on the front lines it wouldn’t be a problem, but…”

“Yulier, that’s not a problem. Asuna and I both fight on the front lines. Let’s go. Yui, you stay here.”

“No! I’m coming too!”

“Daddy’s right, Yui. It’s too dangerous. You need to stay here.”

“No!” declared Yui, firmly clinging to Kirito’s arm. “If daddy gets to penetrate monsters with his sword, then I get to too!”

“So she’s in a rebellious stage, huh? Well, I guess if she insists…” Kirito finally acquiesced.

In the sewers, Kirito and Asuna quickly discovered that Yulier was not joking. The sewers beneath the Town of Beginnings were full of high level monsters. But Kirito cut through them without a problem. Piercing through their wet skins with his sword reminded Kirito of the fateful night that he and Asuna conceived Yui. Now, Yui was holding onto his arm and crying.

“Daddy, I want to fight too! I’m stronger now that I’ve practiced with you and mommy!”

“No, Yui. Without your sword these monsters will just eat you up. Don’t worry, we’ll get it soon.”

“Hey, Asuna, check this out!” shouted Kirito. He was waving a limp, flacid stick of flesh around in the air. “I got it from the frogs.”

“How would you like to eat this? It’s shaped a lot like my sword, although it isn’t as stiff. Cook it up later.”

Yui’s mouth was wide open and she was drooling as she imagined savoring the stick of meat and sliding it into her mouth. A small sliver of drool emerge from Yulier’s mouth as she gaped as well. But Asuna’s reaction was less than pleased.

“Kirito, you pervert! This is sexual harassment!”

“What? No, it’s dinner.”

“Let’s see how you like it sticking this piece of meat in your own mouth!” shouted Asuna as she grabbed the meat from Kirito and thrust it into his mouth.

“Yulier! It’s the first time you’ve smiled!” observed Yui while Kirito and Asuna continued fighting.

Yulier wiped the drool from the edge of her mouth and looked askance towards Yui, embarrassed. “Ah… I was just recalling the last time the commander fed me with his meat stick. He was a great cook,” she giggled. “But I don’t understand why your mommy wouldn’t want to eat your daddy’s meat. It looks pretty good to me.”

Asuna stopped shoving Kirito’s meat into his own mouth to look at Yulier. “Eh… eh… eh…?! You can’t eat Kirito’s meat, it’s all mine and I’m not sharing. Except with Yui, of course.” Asuna could sense that Yui might have entered a rebellious stage again.

“Then stop shoving the meat in my mouth!” said Kirito, spitting it out. “I’d rather eat some of your cooking… some of the kind with melons or cherries.”

Kirito returned the meat to his inventory and the party continued on their way.

“Wait, Kirito,” Asuna cautioned. “I can sense something up ahead.”

As she spoke, a flying figure with tattered robes and an enormous scythe emerged from the shadows. It was the dungeon’s final boss, Death.

“Asuna, stand back,” said Kirito, gripping his dual blades tightly. “This one looks powerful.”

Death raised his giant scythe and struck at Kirito. Kirito raised his blades— his dual blades— and blocked, but Death’s immense strength pushed Kirito back. He tumbled into Yulier and together they crashed into the wall. Debris tumbled everywhere.

“Crap, I can’t move!” shouted Kirito. He and Yulier were trapped beneath the debris. Only Kirito’s arms were free, and Death was quickly approaching. “I’ll have to unsheathe my third sword to defeat Death.” Kirito pulled down his pants.

“What? Why can’t I lift up my sword?” asked Kirito, puzzled. “Oh, damn! It was damaged by the last attack! I need to repair it if we have any chance of winning!”

But Death was coming closer. Kirito couldn’t possibly fight off Death and repair his sword at the same time. “Kirito, I can help,” mumbled Yulier from beneath him. “I’m trapped down here, but I can reach your sword. Give me the repair gel and I will fix your sword.”

“Ok, Yulier, I’m counting on you!” said Kirito, withdrawing the repair gel from his inventory and dropping it beneath him. He gripped his dual blades tightly, prepared to fend off Death.

Yulier’s hands were pinned beneath fallen rocks, so she could only use her mouth. She caught the repair gel in her mouth, emptied the bottle, and spat it out. The gel oozed around in her mouth. It was slimy but tasted like condensed milk. Fortunately, Kirito had lowered his pants so that his broken sword was in easy reach.

Yulier gingerly gripped the tip of Kirito’s sword between her lips, firmly but softly enough so that she wouldn’t cut her mouth. She needed to cover the entire sword with repair gel for it to be repaired. Unfortunately, Kirito’s sword was long and thick, so Yulier would need to work quickly.

She pushed Kirito’s sword deeper into her mouth, slathering it with the repair gel. Her tongue worked all around Kirito’s sword, dousing it from every angle. She moved her head up and down, sucking on the sides of the blade with her lips, to ensure that she wouldn’t miss a single spot.

As she worked, Kirito thrust his sword deeper and deeper into Yuriel’s mouth. The blade was long and hard, and Yuriel wanted to scream out that it hurt, but she couldn’t get words out of her mouth with Kirito’s massive hilt blocking the way. And Yuriel couldn’t give up. She needed to do what little she could, at such a low level, to defeat Death.

She pushed deeper and deeper, and finally reached the base of Kirito’s blade. Sucking hard, she gripped the hilt between her lips and massaged the sword with her tongue.

Yuriel felt a warm liquid ooze out of Kirito’s blade (the repair waste byproducts), and saw a bluish light emerging from the cavern of her mouth. The repairs had succeeded. She swallowed.

Kirito withdrew his sword, and Yuriel gasped for breath. “Thank you, Yuriel,” said Kirito. Yuriel looked up to see Death hovering over her. Kirito’s dual blades were just barely holding Death’s scythe back from his neck. Using his third sword, Kirito pierced Death. It jumped back, screaming in pain and holding its left leg. But quickly the wound closed and the pain subsided. Death approached Kirito and Yuriel again. “Shit, even my third sword isn’t enough to defeat this monster! Asuna, do something!”

“Hmph!” said Asuna, tossing her head. “Why don’t you have your new girlfriend do something, Kirito?!”

“Huh? What are you mad for? You polish my sword every day. She was just there, that’s all.”

“Mommy, daddy, don’t fight! Look, I found my sword!” said Yui, appearing from the end of the hallway. She lifted it above her head and cut death clean in two.

Asuna gasped. “Yui, when did you find such a massive sword?”

“What do you mean, mommy? I always had this sword. ”

“But last night, when we practiced swordplay at bedtime, your sword was so much shorter. Now it’s even bigger than daddy’s.”

“Mommy, I’m sorry…” Yui began to cry. “The truth is, I was only pretending last night. I’m a fake… I still can’t do swordplay like daddy can.”

“Asuna, don’t be so harsh on her,” interrupted Kirito. “She’s only a child. She’s still learning. I’m sure she’ll be a fine swordsman someday. I believe that she’ll surpass even me. Right, Yuriel?”

“Yuriel?”

Yuriel didn’t answer. She was staring at Yui’s sword and drooling.

Asuna glared at Kirito. “Yui, you don’t need to worry about it, but your father has some explaining to do!”

“But mommy, drawing my sword made me remember my past. The truth is, Yui’s not a person. Yui’s a program!”

“That’s nice, dear. Now put away your sword and let’s go eat dinner back in town.”

“No, mommy. I can’t stay here. I need to repair everyone’s broken heart. But I’ll leave you with my heart to take care of. When I’m older you can bring me back to life and I won’t need to fake it anymore.”

With that, Yui disappeared in a flash of light. Only a single teardrop remained.

“Well, let’s head back to the orphanage.” said Kirito. “When we get back you can cook these sticks of meat for all the poor children at the orphanage, Asuna.”

“Why don’t you have Yuriel cook your meat sticks, Kirito?”

“Ah, I can’t cook.”

“Well, that settles it!” exclaimed Kirito happily. As he whistled, they headed back to the surface and a good night’s meal.

Continued in Part Four— Casting Rods

17 thoughts on “Sword Art Online 12 — Yui’s Sword (NSFW)

    1. I don’t know… even I feel bad doing these things to little kids. I wouldn’t mind of Yui stays away for a while. We need Lizbeth to come back and bandana guy.

  1. For some reason I find these joke fanfics a fun read. Can’t stop laughing. xD

    Hope you continue all the way through the end. Because seriously it’s pretty rare that an anime series gets this kind of treatment on an episode by episode basis. xP

  2. Great fanfiction. My criticism though is how Yui suddenly disappeared all of a sudden after her huge swordplay lol– oh wait that really happened. Fuck this episode.

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