Sword Art Online II 15 — Kirito Gets Some Tail

This is part 32 of my SAO fanfiction, and you can start from the beginning here.

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“Someone found the Holy Sword Excalibur in ALO?! Imouto, are you telling me… that my DUAL BLADES are no longer the world’s biggest swords?!!!”

“No, of course not, onii-sama. They found the sword, but they only saw it. They didn’t get it yet. Don’t worry.”

“Phew. Okay, this afternoon, I’m upgrading one of my weapons.”

Later that day…

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“Everyone, please help me upgrade my sword!”

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“But, Kirito, look at all these swords I made for you! Do we really have to go on this quest? It looks like it will be really cold.”

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“Yeah, what do we get out of this?” asked Klein, resting his head comfortably on Kirito’s bosom.

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“Don’t worry, Klein. Somehow, I’ll find a way to express my gratitude. Afterwards, I’ll show all of you some top-notch swordplay while wielding Excalibur. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Klein? Lizbeth, Silica, Sinon? And Asuna, Imouto and Yui, I don’t even need to ask you. We’re family, after all. Swordplay is for the whole family.”

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“Ok!” said Klein.

“It’s a deal,” added Lizbeth. “I’ll reforge your new sword to be harder and bigger.”

“I can’t wait to see how new sword feels, Kirito,” said Silica.

“I won’t let you attack me from the rear like last time,” Sinon said. “By the way, Lizbeth, can you make a sniper rifle for me?”

“Umm… no… this isn’t that kind of game, Sinon…”

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The party headed to the dungeon, where Imouto’s friend Tonkii, the elephant squid, would fly them to the dungeon entrance. Imouto showed off her high cold-resistance stats. She’d decided recently that she’d been wrong and that Kirito was actually an ass man.

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But right now, Kirito only had eyes for Excalibur.

They continued walking towards the dungeon.

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Kirito pulled on Sinon’s tail.

“Kirito… Ahhhh…!!!! Can’t you wait… until… you get the new sword? Although it feels so good… such sensitivity….!”

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Silica looked at her tail sadly. “Why won’t Kirito grab my tail…?”

Finally, they arrived at their destination. Imouto whistled, and Tonkii appeared in the distance.

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“He’s so cute!” said Lizbeth.

“See, Kirito?!” said Imouto. “Tonkii is cute!”

Tonkii started sucking on Klein.

“Ok, let’s go!” Kirito and friends jumped aboard.

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“Tonkii, yip yip!”

As they ascended through the clouds, a vast panorama of ice and snow panned out before them. They saw the battles of men and giants and elephant squids as if they were ants.

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A giant woman appeared. She was the princess from the lake who had ruled over the prosperous kingdom of giants before her kingdom was destroyed by the ice king. She began to explain the history of her tragic past to Kirito and friends.

“Woman, we don’t need your life story, just where is the fucking sword?!” Kirito shouted.

The woman pointed.

“Tonkii, yip yip!”

Continued in Part 33

9 thoughts on “Sword Art Online II 15 — Kirito Gets Some Tail

  1. ‘Sword’, ‘Gun’, the author sure loves double entendres in his titles. >D
    I’m waiting until somebody analyses SAO’s sexual subtext, just like people do with fairy tales. Do you feel like doing this?

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