This is part 43 of my SAO summary / fanfiction, and you can start from the beginning here.
“So, Premiere, since this is your first day as an independent girl with motivations and character all her own, how can we help you?” asked Asuna.
“I need to find the mystical balls, polish them, and drink a magical milky liquid,” said Premiere. “Please help me, Kirito-kun. I need a strong man like you to help me.”
“Ok, let’s go,” said Kirito. “It sounds like we can combine this with my sword training. Bye Asuna, see you later.”
“Wait, Kirito. This quest is, um… meant for parties of two.”
“Yeah, me and Premiere.”
“Premier is an NPC, and she only became an independent girl with motivations and character all her own today. I think she’ll need me to teach her how to polish the magical balls.”
“Oh, ok. You are quite good at that. Then let’s go!”
But Kirito had very high level observation skills. Plus, he was Asuna’s caring husband. He noticed that she looked upset.
“Are you okay, darling? I know it’s that time of month for you…”
*sigh* “Geez, you’re dumb. You’ve got no idea how to talk to girls, do you?”
“What are you talking about? I’m great at talking to girls. I had maxed out in charisma in SAO.”
Asuna sighed again. “Kirito, if you may recall, you spent most of your time killing monsters by yourself…”
“Besides, you were a solo player too. ‘Oooh, look at me. The Black Swordsman. I’m all ominous and intense!'”
“Yep, that’s me!” Kirito laughed. “So cool! And great at talking to girls. The best!”
Asuna began to regret her wedding vows. “Why are you always like this…?” she asked.
“Nothing. It’s just the way you said it— Hehe…— sounded kinda sexy. I love you so much Asuna… your amazing swordplay skills… your high level cooking skills… I’m so lucky to have you as my wife. Now let’s help Premiere polish the balls.”
“Well… I guess you did teach me a lot…”
“Even though I wasn’t try to teach you anything? Heh… Except that one time I taught you the joys of napping. And that’s how Yui was born.”
“Asuna, are you really sure you’re ok?” asked Kirito. “You aren’t pregnant again, are you?”
“Of course, I’m kind fine it! Let’s go help Premiere.”
The party set out.
“I’m hungry,” said Kirito. “Did you bring lunch, Asuna? I couldn’t eat because you were angry with me this morning.”
“Let’s be clear about what’s happening here. You are blaming ME for not eating and DEMANDING that I feed you…”
“But yes, I brought lunch for you.”
Following Premiere’s guidance, the party found a magical glowing ball.
Asuna and Premiere stared at it in amazement. It was bigger than any they had ever seen. Premiere polished the ball thoroughly.
“Asuna, what am I doing wrong?” asked Premiere. “I’ve polished the ball so hard, but the magical milky liquid isn’t coming out.”
“The ball can’t generate the magical juice by itself,” said Asuna. “We need to attach it to a sword.”
Kirito unsheathed his sword, and Asuna attached the ball to the hilt.
“Now watch, closely, Premiere, this is how to properly polish the ball.”
Asuna deftly licked the balls with her tongue. She took the blade of the sword in her hand, and swiftly polished it, moving her fingers up and down the sword repeatedly. As she did so, Kirito’s sword seemed to become even more large and stiff.
“Now, Premiere, you give it a try,” said Kirito. “You promised to help me practice my swordplay if I helped you with your quest.”
“Ok,” said Premiere.
She licked the ball as she massaged the hilt of Kirito’s sword, attempting to do as Asuna had done.
“Now, Premiere! The magical juice is coming! Get ready to drink it!” shouted Kirito.
As Premiere opened her mouth, the magical milky liquid sprayed all over her face.
“Aaaah!” moaned Kirito.
“Asuna, you’re amazing!” said Premiere.
“Look at you, spraying crumbs everywhere, Kirito-kun,” said Asuna. “And Premiere, wait until you swallow to tell me I’m amazing. Hehe!”
“*munch nom munch nom* It ish vhery tashty.”
“You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full, either. Always be sure to swallow first.”
“Yes, master. Thank you for helping me. Thanks to you, I have achieved my hopes and dreams as an independent girl with my own thoughts and character.”
“It’s no problem, Premiere. I hope you enjoyed the swordplay too.”
“Actually, there are six magical balls. Kirito-kun, I hope you will help me polish the rest.”
“Of course, Premiere!”
“Yes, this was so much fun!” said Asuna. “When we find the next ball, we should invite Yui out here one day and have a family picnic. Hehe!”
To be continued…