This is part 19 of my SAO summary / fanfiction. You can start with Part 1 here.
A group of bandits rested among the cliffs. They discussed their latest plan to ambush and kill some of their fellow players.
“Boss, I’m worried. Are you sure they didn’t come up with countermeasures after we killed them in the same place last week?”
“Don’t worry. We have Sinon, the best sniper in GGO.”
“And also the best ass,” interjected Sinon. “Don’t forget that.”
“I didn’t. Hey, Sinon, if you’re free after this, we could go visit the ammo store and we could go hang out afterward…” suggested the first bandit.
“I’m sorry,” said Sinon, “but whatever kind of shell you buy at the ammo store, it won’t be enough to satisfy me. I’m waiting for a man… a man dressed all in black… who dual wields two enormous erect blades… and who will show up next week. Until then I must preserve my virginity and not let any man’s bullets pierce me. Especially up my enormous ass, I hear it feels particularly good there. I can already imagine one of his giant blades piercing me there… while the other attacks from the other side… Oooooh…! Aaaaah!” Sinon moaned in pleasure and pain. “Your guns are all too small to fire into me!”
“Errr…. OK then. Never mind,” said the bandit, politely. He turned to look out over the deserted plain. “They’re here! Boss, you were right!”
“Good. Let’s go. Sinon, you stay here and shoot them.”
The men headed down the cliff. Sinon positioned herself along the cliff, ready to snipe. It was hard to get into the right position since her ass was so big and heavy.
The men continued to approach. When they were at the right distance, she fired a shot from her enormous sniper rifle. This was why Sinon didn’t like men. They thought they were all hot stuff, but their guns were even smaller than hers. And she was a girl.
The bullet hit. Of course. She fired again, this time at a mysterious cloaked figure. He dodged and pulled off his cloak to reveal an enormous minigun. Sinon whistled. She was impressed despite herself. It was quite a gun. But still not enough to fire into Sinon and fill her fine ass full of bullets. Sinon ran down the mountain to assist her comrades. She would have fun chopping this man’s gun up.
When she arrived, the bandit leader was quaking in fear. “Let’s logout. It’s hopeless, we can’t win. That man’s gun is huge. So much bigger than mine.”
“Whaaaat?! Are you a coward?!”
“It’s just a game… Don’t take it so seriously!”
“Just a game? There’s no difference between games and the real world aside from the amount of information! In the game, at least be brave enough to run towards the guns and die! He’s got the bigger gun, but don’t you have some balls?”
“Fine. I guess I do have some balls. On my mark. 3…2…1… go!”
The bandit leader leaped out, guns blazing. He died.
And he dropped his balls. They exploded.
“Nice balls!” said Sinon. “Er, I mean, nice guts. The balls are kind of small.”
Sinon leaped from her cover and fired. The man with the enormous gun dodged again. “If it’s come to this…” thought Sinon.
She climbed to the top of a nearby tower, and leaped off towards the man with the gun. He riddled her body full of bullets.
“Hahaha!” the man laughed.
“Don’t laugh so soon!” shouted Sinon. “I may have lost one of my legs and one of my arms, but I still have the world’s finest ass! And your bullets will never pierce me there. I’m saving it for the man in black!”
Sinon landed on the ground and rolled. As she did, the man caught a glimpse of Sinon’s fine ass. His life essence shot out of his gun, and he fell to the ground, defeated.
Meanwhile, in another world, a loli was tentacle raped.
Continued in Part 20…