Sword Art Online II 05 — Sinon Swears She’ll Kick Kirito’s Ass

This is part 22 of my SAO summary / fanfiction. You can start with Part 1 here.

Kirito and Sinon arrived on the bike, just in time to register for the BoB. The registration asked Kirito to provide his real-life information, including his address, date of birth, and phone number, but Kirito left them blank. GGO was run by a shady American company, and Kirito knew all about phishing scams. He wouldn’t be fooled.


After they entered, Kirito and Sinon checked their placement in the tournament. They were both in the F division.

“Good. Even if I run into you, it’ll be in the finals,” Sinon said. I hope she makes it. I really want to check out that ass. 


“If that happens, let’s both fight as hard as we can.”

Hm, maybe feeling Kirito’s hard sword in my ass wouldn’t be so bad either… “If we make it that far, we’ll both advance to the main tournament.” Nah, there’s no way I could lose. And I get to fire my load into that ass not once, but twice…!

Sinon led Kirito into a private room. She took off all her clothes.

“Errr… I guess this doesn’t count as cheating since we’re both girls,” said Kirito, “but you know, in real-life I’m actually a man. And I’m married with a child.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. Your avatar looks like a girl. It’s impossible that you’re a man.”


Kirito bowed in apology and showed Sinon his ID, which said, clearly, male. “But you’re… But…”

“Hentai! Baka! You’re the worst scum there is! Looking at my virtual body, being randomly assigned an avatar that looks like a female! And to think I was fooled into wanting your bullets inside me…!”

“I’m sorry, Sinon…”


“I’m never speaking to you again. But I want to teach you one last thing.”



“You’d better make it to the finals, so you can experience the taste of the bullet that means defeat.” Up your ass! After all, even if I hate him, he still does have a fine ass. I need to confirm that mine is better.

Sinon left. Kirito followed her.

“Stop following me!”

“I don’t have any other friends.”

“I’m not your friend either!”

They were interrupted from their lovers’ quarrel by Sinon’s friend. “Who’s he?”

“Some asshole.” A mighty fine one…

“What did you do to Sinon?!”

“Sinon’s been a great help… in a lot of ways.”



“But you helped me pick out my equipment. You touched and played with my hard sword, and you made me fire my load.”


“Th-That was because—!”

“Then Sinon took off all her clothes when we were alone and—”

“Oh, I see. Sounds like you two girls had a great time.”

“Oh, I’m a guy.”



Sinon was angry. “Get to the finals! I’ll kick your butt out there!” And examine it very closely when I do.

The tournament was starting. Everyone was transported to a private waiting room.



Kirito was alone again. Once we cross swords… No, guns… In that instant our flesh becomes one, we’ll make up and come to understand each other.

Wait, is this cheating on Asuna? No, she won’t mind, we’re both girls.

Kirito was transported to the battle arena. His opponent started spraying bullets at him.

Fool… he’s letting off his load prematurely. At this rate, he’ll be exhausted and it’ll be an easy win for me.


Still, I can’t get close with all these bullets. If I could at least deflect a few of those bullets with my sword… Oh, good point. I can.


Kirito ran straight towards his opponent, and deflected all the bullets with his sword. It was easier than he’d expected.


He thrust his blade into the enemy. Kirito’s opponent screamed in pain and ecstasy. Kirito’s sword was… so… enormous.


Kirito was spent. I’ve gotta do something so tiring four more times? My energy sword requires a lot of energy to fire… I’m not sure if I’ll make it through this.

Kirito was transported back to the lobby. Death Gun appeared behind him.

“I… am… Death Gun!”

“Yo, dude. Awesome name! I’m kind of jealous.”


“You used your sword, didn’t you? Kirito?”

Kirito thought long and hard. He knew this person. It was another SAO survivor.


Suddenly Kirito remembered. Kuradeel. The first time he had thrust his sword into something other than an NPC. That first time was always special and unforgettable.

Could it be that Kuradeel couldn’t get over their breakup, and he was back for more swordplay? Was he jealous of all the others Kirito had pierced with his sword, and back for revenge? Kuradeel had died though. Or had he…? Kirito was feeling the most excitement he had felt in a long time…

Continued in Part 23

4 thoughts on “Sword Art Online II 05 — Sinon Swears She’ll Kick Kirito’s Ass

  1. “I… am… Death Gun!”

    “Yo, dude. Awesome name! I’m kind of jealous.”

    Is it sad that that was what made me laugh the hardest? If only because I feel like our conversation inspired it. XD

    1. Yeah partially. I actually mentioned that Kirito was jealous of Death Gun’s cool name when Death Gun was introduced though. 🙂 Foreshadowing!

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