Sword Art Online II 06 — Kirito Struggles with his Sexual Identity

This is part 23 of my SAO summary / fanfiction. You can start with Part 1 here.

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Seeing Death Gun’s Laughing Coffin emblem made Kirito remember. That day. No, not that time he inserted his blade into Kuradeel’s body. That time he pierced two men from Laughing Coffin with his massive DUAL BLADES. At the same time.

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Kirito was afraid. Those were some of my fondest memories. Could it be that… I’m gay?!!!

What would Asuna think if she knew? I enjoyed practicing swordplay with other men almost as much as with her. And now, Death Gun is back for another taste of my blade? If I’m honest with myself, I’m feeling a little excited…

Sinon spotted Kirito sitting in the corner, looking completely exhausted.

“Kirito! It’s finally time for our match!” Finally I get to see and feel that massive sword and ass up close and personal….

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“Thank you, Sinon… You’ve reminded me… Girls! I’m attracted to girls! I’ll prove it to you in our match!”

“Baka! What are you talking about! It’s not like I want to do swordplay with you!”

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Sinon tried hard not to stare at Kirito’s sword.

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She had watched the videos of Kirito’s previous matches, and had committed the shape and curvature of Kirito’s sword to memory. Sinon couldn’t wait for the fight to start.

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They teleported to the starting points for their fight. Sinon positioned herself at the end of the road, with her huge ass providing plenty of support for the long wait until Kirito’s arrival.

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It didn’t take too long.  Kirito appeared, looking darkly handsome.

It was time to decide. Would Sinon place her bullet in Kirito’s ass, or let Kirito plant his sword in hers? She’d probably have a chance to try the other option in the finals. But she wanted to win in the finals. This match didn’t matter. She really wanted to feel Kirito’s sword in her ass anyway.

Sinon fired and missed intentionally. But Kirito just stood there. Why isn’t he attacking my pure, nubile body?!! Is he really gay after all?!

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“You bastard! S-Screw you!” I mean, screw me! Sinon fired more bullets at Kirito, but he didn’t budge.

Sinon came down from her hiding place.

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I can’t let it end like this. I want to see it, no matter what! Kirito’s sword!

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“Why aren’t you fighting back?! Did you think, ‘This is just a single match, in a virtual game. This swordplay doesn’t matter to me.'”

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“Or did you think if you let me hit you, I’d be satisfied?”

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“But don’t assume I think the same way! I’d never be satisfied so easily. It takes two people trying their hardest to have enjoyable swordplay. It’s no fun if your partner is just a cold fish.”

“Sinon…”

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“If you’re going to be like that, then shoot yourself with that gun! It would probably be more fun for you doing it by yourself, anyway!”

“That’s not true… I’m sorry, Sinon. Let’s try this again. We’ll settle everything with a duel.” I’m not gay. I enjoy swordplay with women. I enjoy swordplay with women.

Kirito tosses a bullet in the air, and when it landed, the duel began. Sinon fired her gun. Kirito sliced it in half easily with his energy sword, embraced Sinon, and drew his sword to her mouth.

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Sinon licked it. “Ooh, Kirito, your sword is just bursting with energy… I want to feel it… inside of me… in my mouth, up my ass… everywhere…” Sinon began to drool.

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“Then, would you surrender?”

“Huh?”

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“My sword is too powerful. Girls couldn’t take all the energy my sword emits.” Except for Asuna, her capacity of seven liters is unbelievable. “If I thrust my sword inside you, you’d die because it’s too big. And killing girls isn’t my thing.

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“Stupid! Baka! I hate you! So you’re gay after all!” Sinon, enraged, surrendered. How could Kirito be so insensitive and oblivious?! She had been looking forward to this match so much, and that idiot had gone and ruined everything. She would have to try another strategy… but she had come to accept the fact that she may very well never feel Kirito’s blade inside of her. Maybe this was why Kirito’s avatar looked like a girl, so he could be more popular with the men.

To be continued…

P.S. I find it hilarious how the flashbacks from Season 1 are so much better than anything that actually happened in Season 1. I make fun of SAO, and it’s pretty dumb, for sure, but I’m actually enjoying this season quite a bit.

10 thoughts on “Sword Art Online II 06 — Kirito Struggles with his Sexual Identity

  1. A nice try at fanfiction, but it’s flawed because it doesn’t live up to the original. I give it five liters out of ten.

  2. Don’t know if you followed the history of the LN’s at all, but basically the writer grew and improved over time, and it shows. Obviously a commercial and entertainment success in spite of those issues and backlash from them — but the writing does get smarter and try new things.

    Glad to see put onto screen. This season is a much tigher story and focus. Season 1 had obvious adaption issues because the original was not built for a larger scope. Fragmentation issues occurred that resulted on screen, and lessons were learned from writing the characters and their predicaments. i.e. Author wrote novel, couldn’t get it published traditionally, was fun for him, self web published, and continued writing & experimenting. People liked it. Later author got lauded with rewards for other novel (Accel World), and both get made into anime. Original story not enough material for entire cour, so side stories get mixed in– diluting the story & mucking up pacing. Author also realized after the fact he should’ve changed up the protagonist for the side stories, instead of being girl of the week. Harem was not intended. Just wanted to build cool world and write a fun story. Success was not planned.

    I really really admire the humility of these japanese writers. They own up to their faults, and are gracious about it.

    Anyway, the end result is we have something fun, and I’m happy for that.

    1. I believe it. This is so much better.

      First season of Sword Art Online was awful. He clearly learned nothing— if anything he got worse— when writing Accel World.

      But SAO II isn’t too bad. I actually look forward to the episode each week.

      (To be fair to Accel World, part of the problem there was the horrible production of the anime, not only the horrible story.)

  3. My face was quite expressionless in the beginning.
    Until I read the “screw you, screw me” part. I almost choked on my biscuit.
    This post is the funniest so far, ever since season 2 started.

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