The Aniblog Tournament Part 2: Draggle vs. “Michael”

A big thank you to everyone who voted for me in the last round of the anime blog tournament! I narrowly defeated chikorita157, and have advanced to the second round. You should go vote for the best blog (mine) after checking out the other competitors.

If you’ve never been here before, then welcome! Check out some of my favorite posts, including various other bloggers singing about Guilty Crown (ok, one of those is me), and my commentaries on Mawaru Penguindrum. Yes, I do episodic blogging. And there seems to be a lot of discrimination distinction towards episodic blogs in this tournament. But I don’t do summaries, and try to keep things thoughtful and interesting. If you think episodic blogs are all pointless and monotonous, then try expanding your horizons (but wait to expand your horizons until after you vote for me).

In the last matchup, Chikorita157 may have been defeated, but his spirit still lives on. I will continue to hold him in my memory as I fight in this tournament, so that his death will not have been in vain. In fact, I can still sense his raging spirit fighting by my side. Chikorita157, you will never be forgotten! Your death shall be avenged!

Our opponent this time is shrouded in mystery. He goes by the secretive handle “Michael,” with no surname. Even more suspicious is the fact that this “Michael” hasn’t posted any pictures of himself on the Internet, unlike open minded people such as myself and Chikorita157 (who has posted so many pictures we don’t know which ones are truly him). Worst of all, this “Michael” doesn’t have a Twitter account that I can heckle him with!

“Michael”

This sinister silhouette is the only photographic evidence I have been able to obtain thus far regarding “Michael”:

Who is “Michael” really? If I were the kind of person who believed in conspiracy theories, I would say that “Michael” deleted all the pictures of himself from the Internet over the past few weeks so that I couldn’t photoshop discover the truth and air out his dirty laundry.

On “Michael”‘s “Who Am I” page, he claims to be a Filipino who studies “BS Biology.” I call BS. If you read to the bottom of the page, there is this one line standing by itself:

08012006/222116

What could this possibly mean? A date and time? Unlikely (but if it is, “Michael” is really behind the times and needs to update his about page, unlike me, so you know who to vote for). Far more likely is that this is either a secret decryption key or a nuclear launch code. The only question is, who does “Michael” work for, the CIA, KGB, or Mossad?

With the diligence and dedication that underlies all of my work as a blogger, I began to search the dredges of the Internet for a clue to Michael’s true identity. Any clue. I made phone calls, sniffed out packets, dug through the trash, and more. Here are the lead suspects, after compiling all of my extensive research:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to reach a conclusion as to “Michael”‘s true identity. If you have any theories, please let me know in the comments below.

So “Michael” is good. Very good. Only one thing is certain. He’s hiding something. Something bad. Would you vote for someone you can’t trust, someone who disguises their very identity? Or would you vote for someone who unabashedly provides his readers with pictures of himself? Someone like me? By the way, I don’t even know who this “Patrick” guy is, we aren’t related at all. It’s NOT Patrick!

“Michael”‘s Blog

This is supposed to be a contest between blogs and not bloggers. Since you already know how wonderful my blog is, let’s take a quick look at “Michael”‘s.

I’ll admit, it’s pretty darn good. But one problem becomes immediately apparent to an astute observer such as myself. It’s unclear what this blog is even called! The title bar says “anime|otaku”. But the banner says “anime/otaku”. WHICH ONE IS IT, “MICHAEL”?!!! I MUST KNOW! In his endless efforts to prevent me from giving a proper smackdown stifle discussion, “Michael” has not only hidden all the photographic evidence, but has seeded confusion regarding his site’s very name! George Orwell had a name for this: doublespeak.

Moving on, we see a rice ball on the site banner. Why a rice ball? I have no idea. But I’m watching you, “Michael”. I’m watching you.

Next we move to the subtitle: “hopefully incisive and intellectual disquisitions on anime.” Which brings me to my final point. Despite being a secret agent, “Michael” has no guts. “Hopefully”?!!!! How half-assed can you get? What he writes is incisive and intellectual. It’s all about love and guts, and I’m the one with the guts. So vote for me.

P.S. – I’m not sure about the love part, I don’t have the same feelings for “Michael” as I did for chikorita157. That’s probably because he’s systematically destroying all pictures of himself and he won’t send me one.

34 thoughts on “The Aniblog Tournament Part 2: Draggle vs. “Michael”

      1. Ah, you’re right! It turns out that “Michael” was actually my #1 commenter all along! Now I’m starting to feel bad for all the things I said about him!

  1. In his usage his posts are “hopefully incisive.” This means that they are both incisive and full of hope. Perhaps our Michael – who I believe is actually Michael Knight, aka Knight Rider, aka David Hasselhoff – hopes that his posts are incisive and intellectual, but that is not what his banner says.

  2. Ah, not your best follow-up after Chikorita’s. But still great!
    (I’d be interested (and sort of scared) if you were ever to do one of these posts for me, haha.)

    1. This one was harder since he doesn’t have Twitter. :( But I wish I had time to do one for everybody, haha.

      Also, how can I tell you aren’t “Michael”? You should get an avatar.

  3. Hey, I am in spirit form standing next to you as well!

    Anyway, good luck, and this comment exists because I still want to be part of history or something.

  4. Michael David Sy is his full name, just so you know. How do I know that? Maybe I’m Michael under the guise of another anime blogger! @fkeroge is just an excuse to write ragey reviews and biased opinions!

    1. Or maybe, if “Michael” is CIA, you’re KGB and you’re trying to out him! Or vice-versa. I’ve already seen three commenters that look more like “Michael” than you, so I have my doubts.

  5. just a question stuck on my head but… what is your mascot anyway? is it patrick the starfish? no offensive but Im just wondering

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